I Don't Sleep

The Kansas State Fair II: Family Day

At the Dianetics Foundation booth in the Sunflower Building at the Kansas State Fair last weekend a man was explaining to me how the Dianetics system works. Neither of us used the word "scientology," but we both understood what we were talking about.

Mind your P's and Q's, it's the Kansas State Fair

Questionable grammar and bad spelling are more fun than tantalizing the mechanical bull.

My favorite thing used to be to call the Eagle copy desk and ask if "none" is a plural or singular noun. (Although my editor and I disagree on how closely the rule should be observed, "none" is singular. If the sentence, "None of them is attending" makes you a little queasy at first, remember that "none" is essentially a contraction of "not one": "Not one is attending.") The beleaguered-sounding clerk would answer, "singular," and I'd say, yes, I thought so too, and then read back to him whatever copy I'd found in that morning's edition in which it was used with a plural verb.

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